i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Nicole vs. Life
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
