In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
