yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
