I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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