next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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