I got chris browned last night
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
