I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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