is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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