he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
