I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
you never un-have a 4some
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
