Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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