I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
