it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
