Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
