What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
