I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Dear god my vagina.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
