come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
