every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
