is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
