I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
