so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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