just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
