dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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