I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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