Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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