covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i think i have herpe
just one?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
