BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
