508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
