..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
