WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
