Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
