I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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