The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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