I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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