for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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