Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
