please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
