dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
