apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
