Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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