I'm really into asian looking animals
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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