I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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