Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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