will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
