OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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