i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
