brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize