i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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