Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
