Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
Terrible brother advice.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
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He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
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Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas