She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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