Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
