I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
