I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
