nutella sex= disaster
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize