3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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