Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
