HIV tests are more positive than that guy
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Mom said you looked used
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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