Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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