Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
